Tuesday, December 1, 2009

i dreamt about my dad's old house last night.  i dream about this place every few months and have for years.  since i moved out for the last time about 7 years ago, although i started having scary dreams set in the house when he bought it in 1990.

the dreams ALWAYS involve supernatural aggressors, usually either angry ghosts or demons.  the dreams are always different but with the same gist, which is interesting to me, because it seems completely unimaginable that i should have the same kind of dream (i am the intruder in my house, because suddenly it's "their" house and i am just trying to get away) from age 8 to present!  that kind of disspells the notion that the dreams are manifestations of my subconscious or are processings of my current experiences, right?

the ghost is usually a female and a lot of times is based in the backyard.  incidentally, the prior (and only other) owner's wife shot herself in the garage back in the 70s i believe.  the garage was an unattached building in the back yard.  my dreams of an angry woman out there started before i knew about the suicide - my dad didn't let that story slip until we'd been living there about 6 or 7 years.   somehow i wasn't surprised when i found out, or even angry that i hadn't known.  i had been afraid of the house for years by then, but it had mellowed into a weird routine because eventually i got tired of being riled up by it.  too much energy.  i also really loved and still do love that house, so it just felt oddly like taking the good with the bad.  ants coming up through the drains the summers, the occassional winter drafts through the old doors, oh and a slight case of haunting.  allegedly!

anyway this dream was all tied up in the citrus trees in the backyard.  i kept trying to move back into the house, and everyone was telling me it was spoiled and no good.  and i kept trying to go out and pick grapefruits, but they were all rotten and malformed, and any time i found one that looked good, i'd turn it over to find rot, or i'd cut it and the inside would be all rancid water.  i don't think i'll find that in any dream dictionary

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